On Gun-Toting Straight-Shooting Kindergarten Konstitutionalists

Updated 2-10-2013

Unfunny humor about gun control

"There seemed to be no point to the gathering other to give some gun owners an opportunity to show off their toys in public.

What gets me, every time I see black-clad guys and gals strutting around with their weapons, is how little they have to be proud about. It takes zero courage and zero skill to own a gun. All you need is a VISA card. Shooting defenseless animals from long range, or defenseless targets, earns zero "guts points."

I respect people who take risks ... for having the guts to risk getting hurt in the course of developing their skills.

Ditto for combat soldiers who use their guns to fight guys who also have guns. But walking around the Oregon Capitol with an AR-15... that's ridiculously lame."

Got me to thinking. It seems that the slogan driving these folks with the big iron(s) on their hips is ...
"If you block me from using my First Amendment Right I will exercise my Second Amendment Right and use my weapon on you!"
... or something like that.

As to who the traitorous un-American "YOU" bent on destroying our liberties is ...  and the reasoning behind the extreme step of using a weapon against another citizen, well that's up for interpretation.

Apparently whoever it is seems to be the evil spawn of the 1930's and 1940's Germanic and Italian terrorists who have somehow re-incarnated into the 21st century.

But that's confusing because aren't them guys the historic heroic idols of extreme right wing American pseudo-patriotism?

The "H" guy? Or better even, the Mussolini guy who was not ashamed of government corporatism while lying to and bleeding the common citizens in order to keep the rich in power?

I believe it is called "carrying" ,,, and is part of making what is considered a patriotic statement having to do with defending our liberties whenever and wherever those freedoms appear to be under attack.

So then, what does "under attack" mean?

What is in the mind of someone who feels the need to publicly flaunt  personal ownership of a weapon because something frightens him that  is not frightening most people who are otherwise civically engaged and active.

Is there a difference?

Well, although we all have that right some of us use common sense that dictates that one need not  "carry" unless a defense of rights is under literal and immediate physical attack, war or invasion of our country.

Otherwise, "carrying" is just another word for "packing" (as in heat) which declares
`I'm a macho guy who could accidentally shoot a kid, a little old lady or her pet if I was of a mind to. `
A veteran myself, I know lots of other veterans in my community who HAVE used a weapon in defense of our country.  We are genuine - the real thing - and would not hesitate to leave our homes, leave the churches before the sermon ends, leave the tavern with the last beer unfinished, drop what we're doing, jump in our trucks, get our weapons and make haste to the scene of threat or action.

We'd do it in a moment's notice cause we know where our weapons are - kept safe under lock and key until needed.

And for most of those I know it would not be any different if those attacking were government agents or military troops sent to forcibly take our weapons away,  put us in some kind of internment camp, force us to pay our taxes or execute us for fornication.

But  that is not what is happening.

Nothing even close to that is happening although in recent years I would not have put such a possibility beyond the reach of the those who advocated (Dick Cheney) an imperial presidency plan.

That was real.
That was political.
That was an extreme Republican Conservative move that was also endorsed by pretend broadcast patriot blowhards like Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity.

Glen Beck would have endorsed it on whatever network dumb enough to hire him back then so long as  he could see through his country-lovin snake oil tears.

So who is packing ... er, I mean "carrying?"

All I can venture is a perceptual speculation based on behavior, verbiage and posturing.

Most carriers appear to be dying to be seen  publicly wearing.

Most carriers appear to be hoping someone will challenge them so they can then draw.

Most carriers act like they will be disappointed if they don't get to publicly use the weapon so as to be seen as heroic.

It seems to me that would-be Second Amendment heroes won't hesitate to manufacture (imagine) enemies to the homeland in order to sustain a macho sense that hearkens back to every Wayne or Eastwood movie where the good guy gets to shoot somebody.

Or they are willing to suspend judgment and critical thinking by falling for any broadcast lie hook, line and sinker.

Consequently, when you see a carrier "packing" in public with a cold hard stare hidden by movie-hero sunglasses you can read in that stone cold facial expression and posturing this message:
Before it's too late and I can no longer be and feel heroic!
Please .... somebody make my day!"
Flash your weapons guys, get out those comic books and to hell with anyone else in the crowd, their children or their grandchildren.

And just like the Hannity acolyte in Tennessee who gunned down several human beings in a church because they were Hannity-defined  "liberals" ...

Just like that ... someone's child will be gunned down and it won't matter which Wayne or Eastwood character did the shooting.

It won't matter whether he believes that Beck, Limbaugh or Fox News said it would be acceptable

... there will not be anything heroic about the perpetrator.

... only  a stick horse, plastic chaps and cheap sunglasses trying to cover cowardice, a junior high maturity and a lack of the greatest civic attribute a citizen can offer the country:

Common Sense ... One of the Founding Fathers beloved of Kindergarten Konservatives and gun-toting Constituionalists, Thomas Paine,  said give me liberty or give me death.

Paine did not everybody needs to "carry" so those gun-toters who are irresponsible can be gunned down regardless of collateral damage.

And woe unto those too afraid to speak up or disagree with the heat packers.

< Would you want these folks teaching high school civics classes? | The Grand Old Perpetraitors Versus National Defense >
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"Salesmanship the likes of which has rarely been seen in history, even in this nation of boiling commercialism.

It is no small accomplishment to convince millions of people that their safety and security - indeed, their very existence as a nation - absolutely depends upon the astonishing preponderance of devices that kill them on the hour, every hour, every day.

All the gun lobby does is bellow about freedom, about the Constitution, about preserving the ability to defend oneself against the onset of an intrusive, tyrannical government.

This is the song that has been sung for decades now, to the point that it is holy writ to those who think the ability to own an AR-15 with a magazine capacity large enough to take out half of Yankee Stadium, should the need somehow arise, is the apotheosis of American freedom.

Good luck with that; send me a note from the front, hero. I'm sure your Red Dawn fantasy will unspool itself any day now.

Convincing so many people that their freedom is inviolably attached to things that kill them in piles every single day is amazingly successful salesmanship...and as we embark upon this national debate over guns, we must encompass this essential truth: all the grandstanding over personal freedom, over the Constitution, over the ability to defend oneself against the government, is the end-product of perhaps the most magnificent sales job ever deployed against anyone, ever." -William Rivers Pitt

What they inwardly imagine is the only thing they'll accept.

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