Washblog

In his own experience you end up having to drink as much or more than your customers to stay popular and attract the big spenders to your establishment.

Since alcohol aggravates my gout (that's arthritis to you red meat, turkey and seafood eaters who also drink fermented pleasures and remain in denial as to why your toe hurts,) I can't be the bartender guy I was looking forward to being ... you know - the guy in a pony tail, suspenders and a plaid shirt who says "What'll ya have?" to every fisherman, oyster farmer and tourist who comes through the door.

The local fisheries won't hire me cause I'm too old (age discrimination maybe?) and the owners ain't convinced I could hit anything driving a boat or walking around the shoreline in waders when the tide is out.

That leaves politics I guess.

I was going to see if I could be appointed Bay Center Tavern Beer Sign Monitor but the city mothers gave that job to a Native American who is also a Veteran and has no history of political partisanship.

Then I thought  I might run for County Lug Nut Inspector but there'd be too much travel involved and overnight absences from my beloved.

So, since the previous owner of my house was at one time one of the 3 county commissioners ... and because I was asked by several local supporters to think about running against incumbent Mr. Keino in his next re-election ...  I considered it.

But what if some woman runs against me and Keino ... given the recent history in Pac County where two women easily ousted the incumbent  commissioner this year? Then you combine that the lack of success of the state's most prominent Republican in winning out over the little women incumbents he's tried 3 times to whup and failed, I get nervous.

So maybe my best bet is to set up an exploratory committee to look at running as a Republican in the next election, get elected governor and replace the current bureaucrats who obviously were brought in as hired guns to ...

to ...

oh heck, who knows why she appointed those foreign outsiders including the DSHS secretary who commutes to work from Wisconsin?

So I'm coming out of the closet today and announcing an exploratory committee to consider my joining the Republican money takers, I mean, party, and run against the Democrats in 2012 for governor.

I mean, going back to 2004 the only republican they could find who fit the mold as a Wall Street money attractor, BIAW stooge and national Republican marionette was Dino Rossi. So, I might as well pull up to the trough and put my mouth where the money is.

Now I know you're thinking ... "aw he's just being silly," but hear me out.

If I follow the carefully laid out plan that state Republicans, the BIAW and those  pretend - conservative think-tankers had for our state,

I'd be able to put a bunch of homeless and disabled citizens out on the street,

release a few trouble-making perverts from prison wearing "Impeach Obama!" t-shirts as the state Republicans have been agitating about for the past three elections

and throw in busting the union and lowering all state employment to minimum-wage scale.

Wall street couldn't help but come slobbering (I mean with mouths watering) in my direction to run against Murray or Cantwell. My age wouldn't matter given the precedent set by Mr. McCain who won re-election this year even though he's the last living American to have heard the Gettysburg Address in person.

As the wife of a U.S. senator, Lietta would not need Obamacare so she could politicize her words against my political foes with total disdain and devoted loyalty a good wife should evince (sorry to those who can't use "evince" in a sentence.)

So if you're looking for a ground-level opportunity here it is, 15 feet above sea-level on the Willapa Bay.

I'm looking for ideas for slogans, logos, catch phrases and disinformation issues from which to launch a serious Republican candidacy.

As I've stated before, had Dino Rossi been the incumbent this year instead of Patty Murray,  even a mediocre tea-party candidate would have knocked him out of the primary ...

... se we don't need to worry as to whether or not initially the state and national republican party embrace me as their guy.

When the only viable party candidateto me is Harvy Hoehandle from Elk Snout, Washington, they'll come around to me with their hats and the money pouches in their hands.

I'll be able to pay my bills and buy a brand new in-America-made Toyota.

Think of my candidacy in the following tradition:

"Vote RUGER! Never too late to change horses in mid-stream or while cleaning out the barn!"